Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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