My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We're facebook friends in real life
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
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I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
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Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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