why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
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Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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