They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
