It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My vagina is officially offended.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
