Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
