Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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