I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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