I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I want to fling myself into the sun
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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