Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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