no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
