Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
