is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
