So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
