Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize