Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
