I faked an abortion last night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.