I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels