How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.