As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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