So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
