does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
