So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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