put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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