I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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