let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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