i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
