1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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