I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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