so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
