Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
