she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
