Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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