Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
