Got a toothbrush?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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