Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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