Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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