I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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