There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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