its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
