Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize