How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
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Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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