I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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