Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
