it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
