I like to think it a success when the cops are called
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
