Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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