its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
