There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
