I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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