If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
