Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
