fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
