That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
