I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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