i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize