do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
