things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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