or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
wow bdsm is so cute
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
