maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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