I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
