Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
