remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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