I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
