You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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