I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Still dying that you shit outside
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
