Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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